Prepare for Change -- And Don't Cling to Today

It’s a cliche that the only constant in life is change. This phrase is a good example of some things becoming cliches because they are true and resonate with our human experience.

I also know that “change is the only constant” can feel nihilistic, which <looking around generally> seems somewhat reasonable these days.

But I think there is something optimistic about this notion, and embracing it can mean learning to live with more confidence and less anxiety.

Rough water on one side of a breakwater transitions to smooth sailing on the other side. Provincetown, Massachusetts

The idea for this post came from a session with a coaching client who works in philanthropy. They were stressing out about some changes coming to their organization–specifically, senior and executive management positions were being filled–after a period of some vacancies–and my client was thinking this would mean the worst for them and their role.

More specifically–without giving away confidential details–this person was “owning” a cross-organizational meeting with the CEO to help the CEO get ready for public speaking roles, meet writing deadlines, prepare for grantee meetings, etc. My client was worried they would no longer be needed at the prep meeting–let alone needed to own it–once the senior roles were filled.

And they chalked that up to their suspicion that the CEO didn’t value them. This thought led to a downward spiral of self-directed negativity, based mostly on a hunch and not at all on data.

So I asked my client if anyone would be needed at this meeting in the future–how was this prep work done before people had left the senior roles that were about to be filled? My client paused and acknowledged that previously, the fully staffed executive team managed the CEO’s prep–it was an all-hands-on-deck part of the weekly executive committee meeting, and it had always worked well. The meeting they were owning was a stop-gap to get through the leadership transitions.

In my client’s head, this prep meeting would continue on without them forever more. Once I pushed them to consider whether that was true they realized it wasn’t. More importantly, they realized that instead of clinging to what is or was, they should be thinking about how they could be getting ready for the other executives to arrive. What could my client offer them as they started in their roles, in terms of support or advice?

Basically, my client realized that by holding onto the present–or obsessively hoping changes don’t happen or, if they do, catastrophizing what their impact would be–they were not thinking about the future and what it and their colleagues might need.

Once my client let go of this worry and sense of grievance, we could productively work toward a plan that they could use to help onboard their new senior colleagues–which would come from a place of confidence and servant leadership, rather than insecurity.